Tea stricken madness
by The Holy Beergut
Summary: Help Belldandy get her Darjeeling tea!( And try not to kill anybody in the process)WARNING! Contain OOC(and somewhat homocidal) Belldandy
1. chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own OMG so sod off before I sic my dog on you.  
  
Note: This story is based on the Gundam wing fic "Pick your own stupidity" by Mieren(read it! It's funny!) Its basically a if you want to do this go to chapter something type of story. More chapters will be added if I have enough reviews (hint, hint). Enjoy!  
  
Goal: Prevent Belldandy from killing as many people as possible.  
  
Belldandy rub her eyes as she awoke to a perfect Sunday morning! Well, as perfect as Sunday mornings can be, you know the usual. Birds singing, flowers blooming, the sun shining. Yes, the perfect Sunday morning because if it weren't this wouldn't be OMG. If you don't believe me, ask Belldandy yourself.  
  
Belldandy: What a perfect Sunday morning!  
  
See?  
  
Remembering the famous phrase" the early bird gets the worm"(dumb if you ask me) Belldandy got out of her Futon to take a nice warm morning bath. (NO HENTAI THOUGHTS! I CAST YOU OUT DEMONS OF ALL THINGS PERVERSE!) Ah yes, I stress again, the PERFECT Sunday morning.  
  
Keiichi, Skuld and Urd were all still asleep in their respective beds (prior to rumors). Keiichi as he had stayed up to repair his motorcycle, Urd for a drinking session and Skuld due to a problems in one of her inventions that could have gotten Real ugly really fast if something hadn't be done.  
  
After bathing and changing. (Which I shall not describe for fear of corrupting any virgin eyes reading this story.) Belldandy proceeded to check the schedule for today.  
  
Things to do  
  
1.Drink tea. (Darjeeling of course!)  
  
2. Make breakfast.  
  
3.Wake up Keiichi and Sisters.  
  
4. Give Urd aspirin.  
  
5. Give Urd more aspirin.  
  
6. Cast sleep spell on Urd to relief her of throbbing head pain.  
  
7.Clean temple.  
  
8. Have mother of all orgies with other gods and goddess. (Oh wait that's Thursday, Silly me!)  
  
And the list goes on as Belldandy walks into to the kitchen and opens the cupboard to prepare herself a nice cup of tea only to find...  
  
Belldandy: (trembling) It...It can't be...  
  
There was no Darjeeling tea.  
  
Or any other tea for that matter. The cupboard was devoid of all its contents. Save for one container of "UNCLE BOB'S QUICKIE COFFEE MIX!"  
  
Belldandy went down on her knees, holding on to the kitchen counter for support. How had this happened? She asked herself, and she did not have an answer. She always had her tea in the morning. It was a traditi.no, more of a way of life for her now.  
  
As she sat down on the Kitchen floor Her head in her hands, she began to access the situation. Keiichi and her sisters would wake up sooner of later and she hadn't even made breakfast yet! Her perfect(for lack of a better word.) morning was about to collapse because of this. She had to make a choice, and fast.  
  
Help Belldandy make that choice! Will you..  
  
Quickly go out to the nearest store to buy more Darjeeling tea-go to chapter 2  
  
Try to go through the day without it-go to chapter 3  
  
Drink "UNCLE BOB'S QUICKIE COFFEE MIX!"-go to chapter 4 


	2. chapter 2

Belldandy looked at the time, it was 7.30 am. If she went down to the nearby convenience store right now she could probably make it back in time to prepare breakfast and pretend that nothing had happened. With this thought in mind, Belldandy put on her coat, walked out of the temple and in the direction of the store.  
  
Along the way, Belldandy noticed an old woman walking (with the aid of a walking stick.) along her path towards her.  
  
"Why Belldandy! How nice to see you, going for a walk? I like to go on walks myself blah blah blah. "  
  
It was Mrs.Henridge, a pleasant old lady who lived along around Belldandy's neighborhood who Belldandy found to be a nice person and a good friend to have.  
  
But today, for some reason. Belldandy found herself irritated at what she said and the old lady failed to see Belldandy's eye twitching constantly as she babbled on about the weather and the nice young man she met while shopping.  
  
Suddenly, Belldandy felt an almost itchy sensation in her hands, and at the same time, her mind was telling her to put her hands on Mrs.Henridge's neck and squeezing. Hard.  
  
Belldandy panicked as her hands started shaking involuntarily as the itchiness grew tenfold. She suddenly found herself staring at Mrs.Henridge's neck, just.staring.  
  
Will you..  
  
Relief that darn itchiness-go to chapter 5  
  
Mutter a quick apology and walk off quickly-go to chapter 6.  
  
Run off screaming-go to chapter 7. 


	3. chapter 3

Yes she could do it, Belldandy thought to herself. It's just one day, one day in the life of an immortal goddess. She could survive one day without the tea. With this thought in mind, she proceeded to make breakfast.  
  
"Good morning Bell!" Keiichi's voice filled the air just as she had finish making Breakfast.(which looked like it belonged in a dumpster instead of on a dining table.) Normally she would return the greeting. But today she found Keiichi(dare she say it?) ANNOYING! Why doesn't he use my full name? Why doesn't he comment about the breakfast I made? WHY? WHY? WHY? These questions filled her head one after another but she simple clenched her teeth and gave one of her perfect smiles to him. Though something else was happening in her mind.  
  
Soon, Urd and Skuld Joined the table, both not very hungry partly due to last night's activities but mostly because of today's breakfast. They were saying something to Belldandy but she couldn't register anything in her head. There was too much noise, oh the noise! It was bringing her to her knees and all the while a voice in her head kept saying the same things over and over again.  
  
KILL...RIP.....TEAR.....  
  
Will you....  
  
Run away screaming-go to chapter 7  
  
Grin and bear it-go to chapter 8  
  
Let nature take its course-go to chapter 9 


	4. chapter 4

Belldandy Held up the container of "UNCLE BOB'S QUICKIE COFFEE MIX!" and starting examining it. It was coffee, and coffee was similar to tea, and Darjeeling tea was tea.  
  
" It's okay, I am merely drinking a 'sister' of Darjeeling tea. Yes, that's it." Belldandy Assured herself as she started preparing the concoction. She added the necessary ingredients and did the necessary stirring, mixing and all that other stuff. Soon it was ready to drink.  
  
Okay maybe not, the 'coffee' immediately started changing color as soon as it was done. From green to pink to red, blue, purple , white until it finally stopped at a color that Belldandy could only describe as 'shit- brown'.(and smelling almost as bad.) She sniffed the 'tea imitation' cautiously, not knowing what to do.  
  
Will you..  
  
Drink it-go to chapter 10  
  
Throw it away and just go buy the real stuff-go to chapter 2  
  
Test it out on something first-go to chapter 11 


	5. chapter 5

" Really nice man I met, anyway how about joining me for a nice cup of Darjeeling te..."  
  
While Mrs.Henridge was still talking. Belldandy thrust her hands forward and wrapped it around the old lady's neck. She felt her hands tighten around it as she lifted her off the ground(hey she's a goddess, she gotten have some superhuman strength.).  
  
Mrs.Henridge didn't do anything at first but when she felt her air supply being cut off. She started struggling, whacking Belldandy with her stick, and futilely trying to kick her legs. Doing anything to breathe. All this while Belldandy kept her hands on her neck, a vacant look on her face.  
  
" Wait, what am I doing?" Belldandy questioned herself as she watch Mrs.Henridge's Face turn from bright healthy pink to blue. "She seems to be suffering, should I stop?" Belldandy asked herself in her mind.  
  
Will you...  
  
Stop Strangling Mrs.Henridge-go to chapter 12  
  
Continue strangling Mrs.Henridge-go to chapter 13  
  
Stop Strangling Mrs.Henridge, She deserves much worse-go to chapter 14 


	6. chapter 6

" I'm sorry Mrs.Henridge but I really must be going now." Belldandy said not even waiting for a reply as she quickly walked past Mrs.Henridge who probably didn't even noticed that Belldandy was gone as she continued talking to thin air.  
  
Belldandy was so absorbed into her thinking that she didn't even notice a piece of paper flying in the air until it hit her right smack in her face. Frustrated, she was about to crumple it and throw it away when she noticed it was an advertisement for a shop.  
  
JOE'S TEASHOP  
  
We have everytea you need! (No pun intended.)  
  
Belldandy looked it over, this teashop seemed to be reliable, and she probably had a better chance of finding her Darjeeling tea there. But it was further away then the convenience store, and she didn't think she had enough time to go there even if she used mirror transport. But she probably could find her tea there...  
  
Will you....  
  
Go to Joe's teashop-go to chapter 15  
  
Go to the Convenience store-go to chapter 16 


	7. chapter 7

Belldandy couldn't take it anymore, all the noise around her, the headache she was having, no Darjeeling tea, everything. She just couldn't take it. So she did what any normal goddess would in her situation.  
  
She snapped.  
  
And rather badly too as clutched her head and ran away, to where? She didn't know. From whom? She didn't care. She just wanted to run away. Run away from it all.  
  
In fact she was so detached from reality she didn't noticed she was running towards a road, where a truck was speeding on.  
  
HONK! HONK!  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!...BAM!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
And then there was silence.  
  
Congratulations, you killed Belldandy, the most perfect and beautiful goddess the world has ever seen. I hope you're happy with yourself.  
  
END 


	8. chapter 8

Choosing to keep her troubles to herself, Belldandy decided to play the mute and hope they wouldn't add to the noise and hurt her already throbbing head. Unfortunately, Fate has a sadistic streak.  
  
"Big sister! Urd screwed up one of my inventions again!"  
  
" I did not! And it was your fault for spilling my love potion XXX no 234! It was nearly complete!"  
  
" That was an accident! And you didn't have to mess up my Banpei super- duper arm upgrade version 2.37!"  
  
" Come on! It's just a stupid machine!"  
  
" IS NOT!"  
  
" IS TO!"  
  
" IS NOT!"  
  
"IS TO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TO!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"NOT!"  
  
"TO!"  
  
" AH HA! So you agree it is just a stupid machine!"  
  
" Wha...HEY! You tricked me! Big sister!"  
  
" sh.shut..up." Belldandy said so softly that only she could hear it.  
  
" What'd you say Big Sister?"  
  
" All of you, SHUT THE HELL UP GODDAMNIT!" Belldandy shouted at the top of her voice to all of them, her face bright red from anger.  
  
There was a stunned silence as everybody stared at Belldandy. Belldandy the chaste, the pure, the perfect little goddess. This was the Belldandy that wouldn't hurt a fly. Heck if she found an injured fly she'd probably nursed it back to health and released it back into nature,telling it to come visit sometime. And yet, this was the Belldandy that just told them to shut the hell up.  
  
Belldandy didn't want to do that, but she had too due to her lack of darjeeling tea, the noise level and her evidently visible throbbing head. Yes, she was a goddess. But she too had her limits just like you and I. And she sweared if she had to listen to one more stupid question or comment OR ANYTHING! Her head would explode. And she meant that literally.  
  
" Bell..Belldandy, are you alright? Your head's throbbing pretty badly." Keiichi asked with good intentions.  
  
And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.  
  
"AAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Belldandy let out one last cry of despair before her head exploded (YES, literally.). Spraying blood and brain matter everywhere before her lifeless(and headless I might add.) body slumped down on the dining table like a slab of meat.  
  
Keiichi, Skuld and Urd having seen all this did the most logical thing a person would do if your cherished loved one's head just suddenly exploded during breakfast all because of a simple question.  
  
They fainted.  
  
END  
Your wise decision to let Belldandy suffer in silence has caused her to die a rather gruesome death, a hefty laundry bill, and many years of therapy for her loved ones having been traumatized for life. I sure hope you're satisfied you sick freak. 


	9. chapter 9

Keiichi,Urd and Skuld were so caught up in their conversations that they probably didn't even notice the fact that Belldandy's eyes were turning red, or the fact that her whole body was covered in a sinister black aura, and they probably overlooked the energy ball currently charging up in her left hand.  
  
Keiichi finally took noticed (while the sisters continued their mindless chatter) of Belldandy when small bolts of lightning started circling around his head. POP QUIZ! If your girlfriend (or wife) who was normal throughout all the time you knew her started glowing with evil black and red energy and she's eyeing you with a murderous look in her eyes. What should you do?  
  
"Belldandy are you alright? Is there something wrong?" Keiichi asked as he held her hand (the one currently not charging up an energy bolt.) and gently massaged it.  
  
And the correct answer is: RUN LIKE HELL.  
  
"DIE BASTARD!" Belldandy Cried out as she let loose the ball of energy straight at Keiichi. It hit Keiichi like a ton of bricks as it went straight into his body and passed through just as fast leaving a gaping hole where his heart should have been.  
  
"Bel...Bell..wh.y?" Those were Keiichi final words before he felt lifelessly to the ground but Belldandy couldn't care less as she turned to her two sisters who were rooted to the ground in fear.  
  
"And as for you two!" Belldandy said as she let out two individual bolts of green energy (Voldemort: Hey!) straight at them. The bolts hit Skuld and Urd and half a second later they were on the floor, dead too.  
  
Now as Belldandy stood back to admire her handiwork, she only had one thing to say to all of this.  
  
"Today Japan, tomorrow THE WORLD! HA! HA! HA!" She laughed maniacally as she ran out of the temple, twin energy bolts now charging up in both her hands.  
  
And somewhere up in heaven, Kami-sama's eye began to twitch.  
  
END  
  
So you decided to follow your instincts didn't you? Well the whole family's dead. Belldandy gone crazy and the world will be destroyed before her hands. Give yourself a pat on the back; you just doomed the whole of mankind to death and destruction. 


	10. chapter 10

"Well, I guess a sip wouldn't kill me." Belldandy assured herself as she brought the edge of the mug to her mouth to drink "UNCLE BOB'S QUICKIE COFFEE MIX!"(Now with 50% more artificial flavorings!)  
  
As the warm liquid slid down her throat, Belldandy suddenly felt a sensation she had never felt before. Her hands lost their grip on the mug, dropping it and spilling its contents on the floor (and making a bloody mess too.). She felt her whole world was spinning before her very eyes as colors shone all around her.  
  
As the whole world was going crazy before her very eyes, she suddenly heard a voice in her head speaking to her.  
  
" You like pink fluffy bunnies, don't you?"  
  
" Yes... I like pink fluffy bunnies."  
  
"Well guess what? Keiichi doesn't like Pink fluffy bunnies."  
  
" What, No! That can't be true!"  
  
"Yes it's true, and you know what? You have to KILL him for that."  
  
" Kill....Keiichi?"  
  
"And your sisters too while you're at it."  
  
" But I can't.... I love Keiichi and my sisters."  
  
" DO IT! It's for the sake of the pink fluffy bunnies, you like them don't you?"  
  
" Yes, I do."  
  
" Then KILL them! And prove it!"  
  
" Yes....I should kill...kill them."  
  
"Remember your duty....." (Voice fades away.)  
  
And as quickly as they came, all the colors dizziness and spinning just stopped. Belldandy stood there for a few minutes A vacant stare in her eyes and speechless before she shook her head to clear away the remaining dizziness. She picked up two knifes. One a cleaver and the other a cooking knife as she eyed them with an evil look in her eyes.  
  
Then with the sweetest voice she could muster, she called out: "Keiichi! Skuld! Urd! Wake up! Breakfast is served..."  
  
And on that day, the pink fluffy bunnies finally got their revenge, once and for all.  
  
END  
  
Tell me something, would you drink coffee that smelled like crap and changed color before your very eyes? Didn't think so. 


	11. chapter 11

Belldandy looked around for anything that she could test the coffee on before drinking it. She finally settled on a potted plant as she poured some of the liquid into its soil.  
  
Seconds later, the plant turned from a dark green color to black as it shriveled up and fell to the ground before melting into a black slimy mess.  
  
Belldandy stared at the 'Tea sister', still undecided about what to do with it. If she drank it, she ran the risk of poisoning herself which was not a very dignified way to go. But she was running out of time and Keiichi and the rest would wake up soon.  
  
Will you.....  
  
Drink it anyway---go to chapter 10  
  
Throw it away and GO BUT THE REAL THING YOU STUPID MORON! ---Go to chapter 2  
  
Put it in everyone's breakfast, just to see what happens ---Go to chapter 17 


	12. chapter 12

Belldandy let her hands loosen as Mrs.Henridge dropped to the ground gasping for air as if she had just ran the longest marathon in the world (of course that it isn't true, cause if she did she be dead by now.)  
  
"I'm sorry Mrs.Henridge! I... I don't know what came over me!" Belldandy tried to explain as she STRETCH out her hands again but this time to help her.  
  
Mrs.Henridge however starting swinging her cane wildly as she backed away from Belldandy.  
  
"Mrs.Henridge?"  
  
"Stay back....STAY BACK! BITCH OF SATAN!" Mrs. Henridge shouted as she tossed her cane weakly at Bell and started running (more like hobbling) as fast as she could (well, as fast as a 73 year old woman with cancer(did I forget to mention that? Silly me!) Who nearly got strangled could which really isn't very fast).  
  
Belldandy, after seeing this spectacle of feeble sprinting just stood there, dumbfounded. As the wind blew in her face.  
  
In fact, she probably would have stood there for a long time if not for a piece of paper that flew smack dab into her face. Frustrated, Belldandy was about to throw it away but then she suddenly noticed that it was an ad for a shop.  
  
JOE'S TEASHOP!  
  
We have everytea you need!  
  
Belldandy examine the ad, she could have a better chance at getting her tea there but she might not make it back in time. As she contemplated her choices, she suddenly recalled something that Mr.'s henridge said.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
" Really nice man, anyway how about joining me for a cup of Darjeeling te...HURK!" (Gets strangled by Bell.)"  
  
END  
  
Mrs. Henridge said what seemed like she had Darjeeling tea, she could go to her house, which was quicker, and try to BORROW (replace word with 'maimed' 'cripple' or any other word associated with serious injuries.) Some from her.  
  
Will you......  
  
Go to Joe's teashop---go to chapter 15  
  
Go to convenience store--- go to chapter 16  
  
Go to Mrs.Henridge's house--- go to chapter 17 


	13. chapter 13

Mrs Henridge struggled as Belldandy tighten her petite little hands TIGHTER around her frail little neck. Oxygen depravation was NOT a very comfortable feeling She could feel the life draining away from her as the world became fuzzy. Still futilely using her stick to hit Belldandy's head (which to a first class goddess unlimited, was about as effective as trying to kill a Lion with a slab of meat and a pair of disposable underwear.) soon, her arms went limp as she struggled to breath as her face turned blue, then purple, then bluish purple. Then to add to the effect her eyes became bloodshot and rolled to the back of her head before finally....  
  
"Gack....."  
  
That and the sound of her trachea cracking were the last sounds she heard before she finally gave up the ghost.  
  
Belldandy dropped her to the ground as she regained her senses as she stared at the now obviously dead Mrs Henridge(with her neck twisted at an obscene angle, tsk tsk.). only one thought crossed her mind upon seeing this old lady, dead by her own hands.  
  
"Whoa." (Neo: Hey!)  
  
As she stared at the body while contemplating the situation, a flyer flowing in the wind (Dun! Dun! DUN!!!!) flew straight at her and into her face. Belldandy removed it and examined something interesting on the article.  
  
COOKING CONTEST!!!!  
  
Pit your skills against other people for a chance of winning an exotic tea collection! Come and try your luck and skills! Limited time only.  
  
(Thought I was going to say that crap about Joe's teashop again didn't you?)  
  
Belldandy thought about this, Darjeeling tea was considered exotic...and she was one of the best cooks in the world...If she entered, she could get the tea. But then, she suddenly remembered something that Mrs Henridge had said.  
  
"Really nice man, anyway, how about joining me for a cup of Darjeeling te.. URK!"(Strangled by Bell)  
  
Mrs Henridge said what seemed like she had Darjeeling tea, she could go to her house, which was quicker, and get some. Anyway, the tea would probably go to waste if left with Mrs Henridge now that she was dea....permanently incapacitated (Yes, that's the word!). It WOULD be the better choice.  
  
Will you..  
  
Go to Mrs Henridge's house, might as well since the old hag's dead. ---- Go to chapter 18  
  
Enter the cooking competition-----go to chapter 19 


	14. chapter 14

Belldandy released her grip on Mrs. Henridge's neck as she dropped to the ground in shock.  
  
" What the FUCK was that all abo..." (Not really something an old elderly lady would say but still, she was being strangled.)  
  
She didn't finish what she had to say as Belldandy grabbed her again, this time by her arms, and with one firm pull, ripped them off their sockets.  
  
Mrs.Henridge ONCE AGAIN fell to the ground in shock(and armless.) as she saw Belldandy raise her arms manically above her head as if preparing to hit something(or someone.)  
  
Mrs.Henridge stared up in terror as she realized what Belldandy was preparing to do. While most of her mind was panicking, somewhere deep inside, she wondered what the public would think of this. She could already see the headlines....  
  
" OLD LADY WITH ARMS RIPPED OUT FOUND DEAD ON STREET. BRUISES CAUSED BY UNKNOWN BLUNT OBJECT FOUND ON BODY. POLICE INVESTIGATING POSSIBLE HOMOCIDE."  
  
Belldandy proceeded to mercilessly beat the living crap out of an elderly senior citizen. Mrs. Henridge didn't even have time to scream as the blows rained down on her effortlessly and painfully.  
  
By the time it was over, Mrs. Henridge was but a rather bloody pulp on the ground.(in other words, Yes, she was going to be a pain-in-the-ass to scrap off the sidewalk.)  
  
Belldandy stared at "Mrs. Henridge" for a few more minutes before walking off, arms still in hand.(no pun intended.) a sadistic grin on her face.  
  
THE END  
  
You sick SICK person! How could you? I hope you feel real high and mighty about all this you sadist. 


End file.
